• Kids And Rednecks

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Thursday, August 13, 2020 00:06:54
    Kids Say The Darndest Things

    JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister...
    After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and
    one for cold milk?'

    MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
    kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked
    his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

    STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so
    much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

    BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried
    in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
    Mom explained it was a child-proof cap, and she'd have to open it for
    her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know
    it's me?'

    SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please
    don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

    DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I

    CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried, when his Mom asked
    what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with
    this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

    TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
    wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while, and then
    asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

    JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man
    named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but
    his wife looked back, and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked:
    'What happened to the flea?'

    Overheard during a recent Sunday sermon....'Dear Lord,' the minister
    began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his
    upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued,
    but at that moment, a very obedient child who was listening, leaned over
    to her mom, and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old
    girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'


    Rednecks have the lowest stress rate, because they do not understand
    the seriousness of most medical terminology. Here are some common

    Artery - The study of paintings

    Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria

    Barium - What doctors do when patients die

    Benign - What you be, after you be eight

    Cesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome

    Cat Scan - Searching for Kitty

    Cauterize - Made eye contact with her

    Colic - A sheep dog

    Coma - A punctuation mark

    Dilate - To live long

    Enema - Not a friend

    Fester - Quicker than someone else

    Fibula - A small lie

    Impotent - Distinguished, well known

    Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work

    Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane

    Morbid - A higher offer

    Nitrates - Rates of Pay for Working at Night

    Node - I knew it

    Outpatient - A person who has fainted

    Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis

    Post Operative - A letter carrier

    Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery

    Rectum - Nearly killed him

    Secretion - Hiding something

    Seizure - Roman Emperor

    Tablet - A small table

    Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport

    Tumor - One plus one more

    Urine - Opposite of you're out
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)