***** Ripe rejoinder *****
The young father took a seat on the bus next to an elderly man and plopped his one-year-old on his lap, just as the little boy began to cry and fidget.
"That child is spoiled, isn't he?" the old man remarked.
"No," said the dad. "They all smell this way."
--Robert Howe
RD Issue: December 2012

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--- Binbrook, ON: Partly cloudy +4C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Amount due *****
A last-minute filer walked into our state income tax office and handed me his returns. Just as he did, a peal of laughter could be heard in another room. Glaring at me, he grumbled, "What are they doing back there, counting the money?"
--William Umberson
RD Issue: April 2015

(C) 2022 Trusted Media Brands, Inc. - All rights reserved https://www.rd.com/funny/jokes

--- Binbrook, ON: Clear -1C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Watch out below *****
"My son had to give up his career because of fallen arches."
"He's an athlete?"
"No--an architect."
--Orben's Comedy Fillers
RD Issue: September 1977

(C) 2022 Trusted Media Brands, Inc. - All rights reserved https://www.rd.com/funny/jokes

--- Binbrook, ON: Clear -1C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** On the couch *****
When my brother began his psychiatric practice, his first patient was a particularly good-looking young woman. My brother motioned for her to lie down on the couch, but the woman hesitated until he reassured her that it was part of the therapy procedure. Once on the couch, she smoothed her dress around her legs and began to relax a bit.
"Now then," he asked, "how did your trouble begin?"
"Just like this," she said.
--Don Singer, True
RD Issue: November 1972

(C) 2022 Trusted Media Brands, Inc. - All rights reserved https://www.rd.com/funny/jokes

--- Binbrook, ON: Clear -0C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** Man up! *****
Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast.
One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy's pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor.
Without a word of protest, the old guy pays his bill and leaves.
"Not much of a man, was he?" says one of the bikers.
"Not much of a driver, either," says the waitress. "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
RD Issue: April 2008

(C) 2022 Trusted Media Brands, Inc. - All rights reserved https://www.rd.com/funny/jokes

--- Binbrook, ON: Clear +5C, UV Index: 1
* Origin: Northern Realms | tg.nrbbs.net | 289-424-5180 (1:229/664)

***** All bottled up *****
"We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle, and if the bottle pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a nickel. By the time I was 14, I owned my own house." --Gene Perret, Classic One-Liners

I tried that game, Seven Minutes in Heaven, where two people go into a dark closet for 7 minutes; it ended up being 6 minutes of screeching from her, & a black eye for me. . .

--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)

***** Ripe rejoinder *****
The young father took a seat on the bus next to an elderly man and plopped his
one-year-old on his lap, just as the little boy began to cry and fidget. "That child is spoiled, isn't he?" the old man remarked.
"No," said the dad. "They all smell this way."

Universal Instructions for babies:

1. Fill noisy end
2. Empty smelly end
3. Go to 1.


--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-6
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)