New Workplace Budgets
From Daryl Stout
@1:19/33 to All
on Wednesday, July 08, 2020 16:42:54
Due to the budget constraints, the following policies are announced
regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies
are EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY:
All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while
on business. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be
used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations and
office lobbies may also provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Hitch-hiking is the preferred mode of travel, in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees
prior to their departure on such travel. Airline tickets will only be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used.
For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but a lower fare can
be obtained by traveling to Detroit, the travel to Detroit will be
substituted for travel to Seattle.
Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It
should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as
Hickory Farms, General Nutrition Centers, and Costco Club stores often
provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained
in this manner.
Travelers should also become familiar with indigenous roots, berries,
and other protein sources available at their destination. If
restaurants must be utilized, travelers should utilize all you can eat
salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling
together - as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Employees
are also encouraged to bring their own food on official travel. Cans of
tuna, Spam and Beefaroni can be consumed at your leisure without the unnecessary bother of heating or costly preparation.
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in an
effort to save our budget dollars. One enterprising individual has
already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover
period, which could be used to defray expenses. In support of this
idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure,
so that they may earn tips by helping other travelers with their
luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be made
available to employees so that sales may be made, as time permits.
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)