Don,
LaMaz classes and how she did "the big push"...adding "What came out
of me, was so loud, and so long, that Fred Flintstone clocked out of work!!".
I know I am still a kid when it comes to something like this. The
Klumps sitting around the dinner table trying to outdo each other had
me laughing so hard that I couldn't keep my eyes open.
Sort of like the joke where the old man decides to play "fart football"
in bed...scoring "touchdowns and field goals" (I guess on the length and
stench of it).
Well, just before "halftime", he [pooped] the bed, and his wife said "Personal Foul. Targeting. That's An Ejection". <G>
Then again...talking about being a gentleman...used to break the smell barrier & hold the sheets over her head. More than once...I was proven wrong that a foot will fit in that area. ;D
While everyone farts (some as little as 15 times a day, to as much as
20 times an hour (I wonder how much taxpayer money went to that study??)),
my late wife always "excused herself" before and afterwards. One time,
we were in bed, and she said "What the...??"...and ripped one out. A
former area Sysop said that RIP wasn't RIP Graphics (originally done by TeleGraphix, which is long since shut down)...but RIP was what you did
to a fart.
Anyway, when the stench reached our nostrils, it was like "Whoof!!"
(similar to the "silent but deadly" (SBD) methane bombs that our
dachshund would drop), and I said "That was a full grown adult YIPE,
and it wasn't on disability!!"...we both were laughing like mad.
The stench (like rotten eggs/methane/sulphur) is an indication that
the bacteria in your gut are doing their job to digest the food...but
I saw a tagline that noted "Farts are ghosts of things we ate". After
a colonoscopy, "you join everyone else in the wind section". :P
Another time, my late wife and I were otherwise "intimately occupied"
on our Futon, and the dachshund was in his bed next to it. All of a
sudden, this horrid stench permeated our nostrils...the dog had dropped
an SBD bomb. I'm practically gagging, and my wife was laughing like mad...saying "You know he's down there, saying 'Hee Hee Hee!! Ignore
my @$$, will you??!!" <G>. Well, any lovemaking went out the window,
and I had to get dressed, and take the dog out for a walk. But, it
reminds me of the meme, where "the dog takes a 90 minute walk, then
poops on the kitchen floor". :P
Daryl
... Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.
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