• If Computers Made Toasters

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Monday, July 13, 2020 00:07:55
    If IBM made toasters...

    They would build a very versatile toaster, with the ability to roast
    chickens, squeeze oranges, and change diapers as well as make toast.
    Then they'd sell it for the bargain price of $5000, run an incompetent
    ad campaign, and watch in bewilderment as lesser toaster manufacturers stampeded all over them.

    If Apple made toasters...

    The toaster would work fine, except that you'd have to buy the bread
    from Apple too. Anyone making a toaster that "looked and felt" like
    Apple's toaster would yield The Mother Of All Lawsuits ... and, unless
    they're Microsoft, would wind up as toast.

    If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...

    They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which requires you to put
    the bread in backward, take out the toast sideways, and THEN push the
    "toast" button.

    If Intel made toasters...

    Every year, a faster toaster would be released; Intel would claim that
    it's the fastest toaster ever built. When you take it home, it would
    toast no faster than last year's model. Later you'd be told that you
    need to wait for "new, advanced, 32-bit bread" to take advantage of the
    extra speed.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)