• 10 Fun Facts (satire)

    From Sean Dennis@1:18/200 to All on Wednesday, September 04, 2019 00:29:14
    https://tinyurl.com/yy2evfv7 (imao.us)

    (This is satire.)

    10 Fun Facts About Labor Day

    Posted by Harvey on 2 September 2019, 1:00 pm

    1) The first Labor Day parade was held in New York City in 1882. It was a
    colorful string of vehicles moving slowly down the street between
    sidewalks packed with people. Similar parades are now held daily in New
    York City at 5pm.

    2) Some historians say Union leader Peter J. McGuire, co-founder of the
    American Federation of Labor, was the first person to propose a holiday
    celebrating workers. Other say it was steel magnate Andrew Carnegie,
    although his proposal was "Labor That Actually Shows up to Work on Time

    3) Some people originally wanted Labor Day to be celebrated on the
    socialist "May Day" International Workers' Day holiday on May 1st.
    President Grover Cleveland decided against that, since most Americans
    already celebrated it as "Commie Punching Day".

    4) In 1887, Oregon became the first state to celebrate Labor Day as a
    legal holiday. Oregon is also home to Nike headquarters, which may explain
    why everyone kneels during their Labor Day parade.

    5) Canadian Prime Minister John Thompson signed "Labour Day" into law in
    1894, the same year Grover Cleveland declared it a national holiday in the
    United States. The US later invaded Canada in a brutal war to liberate the
    superfluous u from the the word. The conflict continues to this day, with
    America recently threatening nuclear weapons in response to a Canadian
    threat to require border-crossers to show "passpourts".

    6) In 1909, the American Federation of Labor declared the Sunday before
    Labor Day "Labor Sunday" - an opportunity to reflect on the spiritual and
    educational parts of the labor movement. It never caught on because it
    turned out to just be a scheme to raid the church's art supply closet to
    make free "ON STRIKE!" signs.

    7) Most fashion moguls say you can safely ignore that age-old myth that
    you shouldn't wear white after Labor Day. But if Edna Mode tries to knife
    you in a dark alley on Labor Tuesday, you're on your own.

    8) A study by the American Automobile Association (AAA) shows that over 35
    million Americans travel over Labor Day weekend. From my experience, all
    of them in front of me on that stretch of interstate where they close down
    two of the three lanes even though nobody's out there working.

    9) Labor Day is considered the "unofficial NFL season kickoff", since
    99.44% of the time, the NFL plays its first official season game the
    Thursday after. In Cleveland, 99.44% of the time, it's known as "just wait
    'til next year" day.

    10) The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council says that between Memorial
    Day and Labor Day, 7 billion hot dogs will be eaten. None of them by
    someone who actually knows what's in them.

    [sources: Mental Floss, HydroWorx, Constitution Daily]


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